GOV. CHRISTIE APOLOGIES IN LAS VEGAS, LOSES CACHET

A RJKS Tongue-In-Cheek Report.


Governor Christie Apologies To Flat Earthers and Loses His Tough-Guy, Straight-Shooter Cachet


Governor Chris Christie, "mis spoke" at the Las Vegas gambling palace of super wealthy Vegas tycoon and casino owner Sheldon Nobelson. Nobelson was hosting the Republican Flat Earth Coalition where GOP supplicants were gathered to vie for the flat earther's financial support in the 2016 campaign   During his presentation, Christie, trying to re-float his swamped electoral canoe after the devastating "GW Bridge traffic tie-up scandal" got himself in bad doo doo again, when he verbally slipped when suggesting that the earth might be a sphere.  Christie's speech was an attempt to underscore his strong commitment to the planar earth theory by recounting the events of a 2012 family sea voyage.  Christie, waxing eloquent, added a short digression from his prepared remarks intending to underscore his devotion to the widely-questioned “earther” hypothesis.  Christie remarked at one point that even though "he was far out to sea, he didn't fall off the edge".  But a murmur of disapproval arose among his listeners when, attempting to gild the lilly, he added the further remark that he was "so far out to sea, that he lost sight of land".  At that point, a low murmur arose among the fur-coated and bejeweled crowd who shifted around in their seats and looked at each other in disapproval.  The term "losing sight of land" is verboten among flat earthers, since the phrase suggests that the earth is actually spheroidal and it is only upon such a surface that the sight of land could diminish then disappear.  Such terms are banned in the world of the flat earthers.


Allies of Mr Nobleson quickly caught up to Christie after his presentation and alerted him of his error. According to reporters from the Washington Times, National Review,  Spectator, The New American who were attendees, Christie immediately sought out Nobelson and offered him an apology, claiming that he "misspoke".  "The earth IS really flat. I believe that in my heart!” said Christie, some said, with tears in his eyes.  Mr. Nobelson is reported to have "graciously" accepted the governor's apology.  But, Sallus Little, one of the Nobleson's  entourage, was not so satisfied with the governor's apology, even if if was delivered on bended knee.  Little concluded to reporters that the Governor "either does not understand the issue or is hostile to the flat earth agenda."


The whole affair brings disappointment and trepidation for those of us who saw the Governor as a courageous, straight-shooter who could speak out and tell it like it is.  He was so up front, blunt and one might even say a bully, with the likes of school teachers,  voters, Jersey Shore residents and others who had little power or leverage. But he was a mumbling schoolboy, unable to state the accepted facts to the flat earthers.  Of course these latter were all sitting on wallets bulging with cash.  The affair in Las Vegas makes the rest of us, who accept the world as it is, wonder about the ability of the Governor to function effectively in a solar-centric planetary system and scientific based universe.  One wonders is Mr. Christie ready for prime time?  And what about his ability to make decisions for all the rest of us, the not so wealthy, the powerless, the majority who live in the real world?


Get the picture?